Back in 2005 when I still had all my teeth (a story for another day) I had a vision. The vision was rubbish, so instead of acting on it I created this website. If you reached this page by clicking a link on the about page (assuming you actually read the about page), you’ll know that the website’s updates used to follow a slightly odd pattern. If you didn’t discover this page through the about page then you’re probably about to click away from this site completely before scrubbing your body all over with an industrial-sized bar of soap. Lord knows, I wouldn’t blame you. For those of you who don’t, here’s a little nonsensical nostalgia:

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Imagine this. A billion light-years from this where-and-when, this here-and-now, a small ionized capsule of slumbering wonder is unexpectedly awoken in deepest darkest space. The information contained within whispers yarns of a thousand worlds, stories from this galaxy to the next. It speaks of the lowliest lows – underdogs and gutter-gazers and the highest of highs – angelic and godly all-powerful beings.

These are the data files of Dwardus Prime, a legendary leader, a god among men, a warrior, a wonder and quite an accomplished storyteller. Now he is lost, we know not where.

This website was triggered by tremendous heat and atmospheric pressures as the capsule thundered towards an uncharted planet. What you are seeing here now is history and as more data is received – brought forth by the capsules incessant ticking, you will learn of more great discoveries, places you never knew existed, and fresh slants on ideas and places you are already oh-so-familiar with.

It is up to this capsule, dubbed capsule Prime, to represent the greater good, to teach the masses and to teach them well.

Capsule Prime was activated on: 8th June 2005.
More transmissions to follow as vital systems come back online…

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Rather good news, we’re still alive!

We chanced to land in a very large puddle I’m told they call a lake. Whatever the case, it appears to be rainy season here so I’ve taken the liberty to activate Prime’s external protection force-field to shield us from the showers. Some may call it an umbrella.

Prime’s inner workings are telling me we have wheels but that they aren’t quite ready yet…I expect by the next transmission they will be up and running and by that time we will have a means of on-land locomotion.

*

The terrain here seems fairly rocky, although I spotted large forested regions not far from my watery crash site. I’m giving us a bit of a paddle with the rear thrusters to get out of here… shouldn’t be long now. Frankly I’ll be glad to get out, my sensors can see about a mile below us and there are some very large fish, I can tell you. So let’s get to the shoreline post-haste. Then it’s time for some reconnaissance, soldier!

Prime is being updated at least once a week now, as now it is on solid ground, I am able to focus our abilities on other things besides flying. Be sure to check the Web Comic, Oddments and Links pages for updates. Also check for the Staff pages and Web Comic Profiles, which will follow shortly.

Prime out.

Disregarding all of that, Dwardus Prime is no longer a grizzled online comic-strip or the hub of the infamous rock band “Larry and the Lungfish” but merely an entertainment blog dealing with movies, music and video games rather than what knickers so-and-so likes to wear. Discussion is more than welcome, just let’s keep it clean.

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